hugtopiamods: (Default)
hugtopiamods ([personal profile] hugtopiamods) wrote in [community profile] hugtopia_logs2020-09-14 07:59 pm

♥ September (Ohnir) Event Log

an ethereal scene of a small island in space with a tree and a chair, the milky way arcing above
September (Ohnir) Event Log

The month of Ohnir brings with it a slow but steady relief from the heat, as summer gives way to autumn and the city begins to change with it. Plants are slowly deflowering, leaves are starting to fade and fall, and while the season is not yet in full swing, all the signs are there if you know where to look. The city is abuzz with new energy as the residents realize that for the first time in centuries, they have some actual nature clean-up ahead of them: raking leaves, pruning branches, protecting young wildlife and fresh plants from the incoming chills of winter. Such work used to be relegated to those who cared for the botanical gardens and zoos, but now everyone who's been enjoying this year's garden harvest has to learn how to future-proof their treasured flowers. Offworlders are encouraged to do the same, lest all of the growth be lost over the winter.



PROMPT I: A Clean Getaway
an animated gif of anime-style bird people in a hot bath

With all of the work to be done, it's no surprise that some are looking for new ways to refresh themselves and relax, and what better time would there be to open up the Public Baths! All the volunteer work cleaning the place has paid off, and the facilities are officially open and available for use. It is technically free to use, as a public facility, but those visiting are encouraged to tithe a small donation once in a while to pay for upkeep and freshen up the place, provide new soaps, etc. No judgment if you can't! It'll just make everything that much nicer in the long run.

The baths are separated into a few sections: oil baths for the native residents, and water baths for the offworlders. For obvious reasons, offworlders are encouraged not to enter the robot-residential sections! Though they are not strictly forbidden... it would be quite messy and bad for your health.

The offworlder half has additional separated sections that may interest characters when they visit:

1) Hot Springs Style - Clothed or Unclothed: there are 3 available rooms for each, one for separate presented genders, and a shared bath for those comfortable with the concept or don't wish to use either male or female. Each room has one larger pool and a few smaller sets, so you can sit by yourself or with others as you please.

2) Pool: a shared public pool! The water is nice and cool, which should be a comfort to those still struggling with the lingering summer heat. There is some water game equipment available for open use if people want to play and get their sports on.

3) Sauna: similar to the springs, once again, there are 3 rooms for gender splits so everyone can enjoy the place at their own comfort level.

It all seems very nice and relaxing for everyone, but this wouldn't be a proper event without some shenanigans now, would it? There are a few effects that may occur within the baths, and these effects are somewhat random. Some characters may experience them to a powerful degree, while others feel nothing at all. Players can decide for themselves who and where these will affect, so feel free to mix, match, and go wild. The effects are:
  • The spring water is so relaxing that you feel free and more willing to talk about yourself, or share your feelings more openly.

  • The swimming pool is cool and energizing, making you want to horse around and play with others nearby. You may also feel inclined to drape yourself onto others, like a cool, comfy pillow.

  • The sauna has you dishing up spicy hot takes, releasing negative emotions or complaints, and makes you a little more inclined to gossip.
All effects can either be nullified or emphasized according to player discretion by physical contact. For some characters, holding hands or something will stop the effects, but for others it'll intensify them - it should keep characters guessing!


PROMPT II: REM Stands for Realistic Emotional Memory in These Parts
a girl sleeping in yellow grass

Characters who were around last year might remember a bout of strange and sporadic dreams that plagued the town around this season, along with the sensation that they were being followed. This year, dreams once more enter uninvited to one's mind, but this time, it occurs as a random daydream while they are awake, and it is very different from person to person- instead encouraging you to do the following. All visions start out hazy, like a grainy old movie where details and figures are difficult to make out, but there is something both familiar and alien about it. It feels like a memory… but it is not your memory. Over time, the visual begins to clear the more often the dream repeats, until slowly the images grow more distinct, offering clearer faces, the addition of voices, discernable quotes or expressions. The memory will provide hints as to who it might belong to, though the subtlety of those hints will likely vary. Before too long, if you have not found a way to rid yourself of the dream, you will experience an entire memory of another person in town as if you were witnessing it from their perspective!

Now, how does one rid themselves of these strange visions? You could wait it out, if you're patient enough and not inclined to seek the answer, but those who've been here long enough can wager a guess: you must find the source of that memory and "send" it back to them through physical interaction of some kind. Some memories may take longer to transfer than others, and it may depend on the person, the memory itself, how clear the memory has become in the time you carried it… no two experiences are likely to be the same.

There are a few specifics about these memories that are worth noting:
  • the memory should be of a single event, not a series of events that span a long period of time. For example, you could witness the stretch of someone's day at a wedding or long party (sped up to skip insignificant moments so it doesn't play in real time), but not a memory of an entire war that goes for months. How long the memory goes for is up to the player that the memory belongs to, as long as it falls within these guidelines.

  • you are not limited to a single memory from a single person. Once you have solved one vision, after a certain amount of time, you may find yourself plagued with another.

  • you will not necessarily end up having the same memory partner! You won't always have the memory of the person who has your memory. Characters are encouraged to pair up and try to piece together clues that might lead you to your intended partner. Help each other out and guide one another in the right direction if you can.

  • those whose memory has been borrowed may find it difficult to recall it; it can seem fuzzy and indistinct, missing entirely or simply missing choice details. Through physical contact, that memory will fully return to them and both participants can experience it together.

  • you can find your partner accidentally! If you're still searching for clues and happen to touch your partner through other circumstances - such as shake their hand at first meeting, or hug a friend - you may find both of you are suddenly experiencing a memory together as it is transferred! Aren't you lucky, to have found your partner so easily?
!!! IMPORTANT !!! The contents of the memory shared is up to you, but please be mindful of harmful subjects and tag/mark your comments and toplevels accordingly! Triggering memories should be noted with content warnings. Be kind to your fellow players! If someone asks you to tag something and you have not done so, please correct it as soon as possible. Untagged comments that aren't adjusted and are reported to us may be subject to mod screening until the issue is resolved.


PROMPT III: I Shall Fight With My Bear Hands
a man trains with one fist outstretched in a dark room

Closer to the tail end of the month, one of the research facilities distributes a "Help Wanted" advertisement through the network, requesting the aid of offworlders. The advertisement reads:

"Calling all offworlders! Havenwell Research and Development is seeking volunteers for both physical prowess and supernatural ability testing. All are welcome! Even if you have no combat skills and feel only a desire to learn, we have a job for you. Those who already possess some form of self-defense or combative powers will be partnered and asked to "spar" in a partially digitized facility, or proceed with a simulation that will gauge destructive capabilities. And for those who possess neither, don't worry! Our program is specially designed to help you discover just where your talents lie.

No harm should come to any volunteers, as this is strictly simulation-based, similar to the virtual reality technology already widely used throughout the city. However, in case of any accidents, medical staff is on site to treat injuries as needed. Additionally, there is no need for you to wear any of the VR headgear typically required in our cafes, so if these devices cause you discomfort, this may be a simulation that better meets your needs.

Please contact us ASAP if you are willing and able to help. A monetary commission will be awarded upon completion of each session."

Any volunteers or inquiries will be provided with more information, and invited to one of the research towers located in town. They are guided to a floor that is abuzz with activity, partnered with whoever happens to be scheduled at the same time or a partner they themselves opted to bring with them, and taken to a room akin to Star Trek's holodeck. There, they can input "powers" or "no powers", and a simulation will be created for them based on their selected guidelines.

With Powers:
The console invites characters to select one of two options- their own abilities, or temporarily gain access to the elemental powers offered via AC Rewards (point levels 50, 100, and 200). They are able to choose a particular power level for the duration of the simulation, which can either dampen their natural abilities to a more fair level for the test you're undertaking, or remain normal. While in the simulation room, rather than actually using any real abilities, the room will materialize whatever ability you choose without causing true damage to either the room or your opponent. Science, or magic? It's probably both. Feel free to go wild and have fun, maybe try some powers you've never experienced before or vent your frustrations on being stuck here!

Without Powers:
The console invites characters to select a type of weapon and skill level, and said weapon will materialize in a basic form; while held inside the room it moves and feels real, but it cannot be removed from the facility. Those who are skilled in utilizing said weapon are free to wield it as if it were the genuine article in their chosen simulation. Those without much or any skill will be walked through a tutorial on basic techniques from a variety of styles, old or new, most unfamiliar but well suited to the body type of the person using the program. It's quite intuitive, though it is by no means perfect, so characters might end up being guided through a stranger workout than intended.

For versus mode, each participant has an HP bar displayed above their heads, and everyone has the same HP unless both players select an unbalanced mode, and the goal is to force your opponent to hit zero HP. Characters can also choose how realistic the simulated violence is and how the process feels: in low realism, it's similar to laser tag, where characters flash a colour when hit and take damage without feeling anything more than some uncomfortable vibration. In high realism, pain is genuine to a certain degree depending on how high a level they choose, though it is artificial and will fade as soon as the program ends. Hitting zero HP will not result in a knock-out, but characters will feel dizzy and be forced to sit down, unable to rise again until they surrender. All effects wear off as soon as the simulation ends.

For demonstration mode, participants are given a selection of virtual targets to practice on using whatever method of combat they've chosen. It could be moving targets, such as creatures that have invaded the barrier previously (via the Wild Wild prompt), or simulations of the more dangerous beasts in the museum/zoo areas of town. It could be simple targets built to take a beating without providing much challenge in return. It could be a collection of buildings that characters can break or explode as they please. This mode is designed to gauge just how strong a person's destructive potential is, either with their own powers or with powers granted to those who have been blessed by their patron god.

Characters are welcome to volunteer as many times as there are available partners and/or slots! So feel free to try a few times using different options.


PROMPT IV: A Bonus Trip Down Memory Lane
Last year, some offworlders might remember the tradition of sharing stories in the temple of Ohma, to offer small tributes to the god on their first month of devotion. It is that time of the year again, and everyone is welcome to return and share more stories, or perhaps retell an old favourite to a new audience. Here is the event as described previously:

Ohma's temple is particularly lively during Ohnir and the priests are busy cleaning and sweeping, decorating it with rolls of parchment and digital inkwells and quills that write as if they were actually fountain pens. The natives, especially adherents of Ohma, start to make pilgrimages to the temple in little processions, some playing music, others flying banners.

Anyone who chooses to follow can observe the natives going up to the altar and sharing stories with one another. They talk about things they did over the past year or things that are far, far in their past. Some of the stories are happy and result in the procession laughing and some are...well, not everyone returns safely from certain disasters that befall the city throughout the year. The priests diligently write every story down on those parchment rolls and deposit them onto the waiting altar, where they're summarily lit on fire to the cheers of those present. The more emotional the story it seems, the brighter and bluer the flame that it emits and the louder the procession cheers.

As the file out, they notice you watching and urge you to go up with someone else in the temple to clear your heart and offer up your own stories. They can be stories of home, information about your worlds, or stories about your life.




This event will run from September 14th to 30th. Click on each prompt's title to see the text. If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to the FAQ or to the Mod Question thread.
whenyouneedme: toniii (075)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-20 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
What could the hot springs possibly ruin at this rate, geez. Gosh. What secrets could there possibly be that needed protected.

Their own measures were the only ones they had though, so doing good by that was... pretty good! Sure maybe they both had a very unhealthy relationship with themselves, but if it seemed like they were making progress in each others' eyes than that had to count for something. They could count it. It was good.

"Y'dont need to worry about that part." Kai was pretty sure his smiles could only provide so much sustenance though. He'd selfishly be glad for it now, but he knew better. "If you ever want anything else though, just say the word."

Any of those things like uh more baths or uh clearing things up with friends or. Whatever else Shinji could have wanted from him, he couldn't imagine it was a very deep list.
hedgehogsdilemma: (Keep me in your clouded mind)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-20 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe if he were some kind of plant, who could sustain himself on sunshine...

That might be stretching the metaphor a bit too far regardless. Still, he can take the emotional solace in having that indicator of still being liked, of having some way of telling that he hasn't overstayed his welcome. Those kinds of thoughts were generally quieter ones these days, but ones that could still make themselves known when everything else is even more quiet.

"If there's anything you want from me, too," there's no way he wouldn't reciprocate the offer to whatever extent he can! "I'm here for you whenever you need."
Edited (oops.) 2020-09-20 23:17 (UTC)
whenyouneedme: toniii (089)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-21 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
Kai hummed, sighing out a soft, "I know." It would have been fine just to leave it like that. Similar to Shinji's feelings on the matter, this was already way more than Kai would have ever hoped to get out of anything. Really, he should have been completely satisfied.

There was still that lingering thought though. The one that knew that Shinji had someone else here now. If something shifted, it wasn't Kai's place to say anything about it. That's just how it was.

Except this once, Kai didn't want to let it go quietly even if nothing had happened.

It was after a few long stretches of comfortable quiet that he spoke up again in a low murmur. "Just don't forget I'm here, ok?"
hedgehogsdilemma: (I find comfort in the sound)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-21 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Shinji would have been more than content to let the conversation fade into that comfortable quiet the two of them had become so good at, letting the warm water ease the tension out of his muscles while Kai's hand tangled up in his eases the worries out of his mind, but then those words meet his ears.

Ah...? Ah. He gets, at least, the basic sentiment that would drive a wish like that, even if he's unaware of the particulars of why it could be relevant.

"I won't," he assures him, voice just as soft and quiet. "I don't think I could, but I definitely never want to."
whenyouneedme: toniii (130)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-21 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Remarkably, that Shinji wouldn't want to was something that Kai already wholeheartedly believed. After all of this, it wouldn't be something that Shinji would have actively chosen to do. That would be much easier to deal with, Kai was sure.

It'd all be a lot easier if Kai just actually knew how to be selfish. Or if he understood why the idea that Shinji could be happier with someone else twisted him up inside so much. Truly these were both powerful mysteries.

For now though, Kai just squeezed his hand. "Good to know."
hedgehogsdilemma: (Seek it out)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-21 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd be pretty hard for him to even do by mistake, considering how much longer he's known Kai compared to anyone significant who could show up and how much time and emotional investment he's paid into him as a result. This... this is something he absolutely wouldn't want to lose. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he did, and if Kai got hurt as a result, he's sure.

"Hmm," he hums softly, letting his head come to a rest at Kai's shoulder. Even if Shinji knows that this is so much more than he deserves, that he'd want Kai to find happiness with someone actually good, it would be really, really hard for him to let go at this point. How truly stupid of him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he says, a bold little bubble of honesty surfacing with the encouragement of the hot springs. "However long you'll have me, I'll be right here."
whenyouneedme: toniii (086)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-22 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
There he was. Kai let out another soft sigh as his head found its spot nestled right there against Shinji's crown. Here he was trying to be something Shinji could lean on, but it was the other boy always handing out the reassurances. Geez.

It was stupid, he knew, but it still felt nice to hear them.

"Thanks for always reminding me," Kai said with a soft puff of a laugh against Shinji's hair. "I'll get it one of these days."
hedgehogsdilemma: (Our hearts littering the topsoil)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-22 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
"I'll say it as many times as I have to." Now that it didn't feel quite so reckless making those kinds of promises, just... strange, still. Strange that he'd be sought out for support, and strange that he'd even be able to cope with that kind of expectation. But it's what he wants - to stay here, for Kai, so those assurances don't feel so hollow.

"I care about you, a lot," his voice drops down to a mumble with these words, a little more carefully chosen and deliberate than the confessions that came tumbling out so easily before. Thankfully with this position, Kai can't see the blush that rises to his cheeks over it. "So being able to do these kinds of things for you feels extra nice."
whenyouneedme: (146)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-22 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Shinji you were having an extensive nude cuddle with your bro in public and this was the blush you were glad he couldn't see?

"Does it?" A small question, and not one that Kai was really looking for an answer to. Just another marvel at how things had gotten to this.

"I'll try not to feel too dumb about it then." Another squeeze. "Care about you too."
hedgehogsdilemma: (A handshake of carbon monoxide)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-22 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
See, it's the emotional vulnerability that's causing it this time! Just like right now, with that last little statement.

He knows as much, it's really obvious if he stops and thinks about it for any amount of time! But hearing it said feels different, it makes his heart go absolutely wild. "I can tell," he manages to squeak out over the the sudden squeeze in his heart, shifting that particular feeling down to tighten his hold on Kai's hand. "Thank you. I... don't know what kind of shape I'd be in now, if it weren't for that."

Just that much has made such an unbelievable difference.
whenyouneedme: toniii (093)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-23 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
Was... was that a squeak? Why were we squeaking? Stop being cute, geez.

Kai didn't particularly like contemplating the state Shinji could have been in without him. That wasn't to say that he was taking a lot of credit for it. It seemed easy enough to say that Shinji would have ended up under someone else's wing, but that very well might have been his own fondness talking. Realistically, it was very likely that Shinji would have successfully kept keeping to himself like he'd originally intended and then... who knew what that would have meant here. It was just as likely that Kai would have found out the same way.

"The sleepiest boy imaginable," Kai chose to say instead in light of all these squeaks and gentle murmurs. "Desperate for a nap."
hedgehogsdilemma: (My heart could take a chance)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-23 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
In an attempt to fulfill Kai's request and stop being cute, he pulls a decidedly uncute face while remembering how bad he'd let himself get during those particularly sleep deprived days.

"That... was really pathetic of me, back then."

Letting himself actually get caught not taking care of himself, what is wrong with you, last-year-Shinji? Get your shit together.

"I'm glad it led to this," he adds, a little softer. He can't pretend that the nap session and subsequent sleepovers weren't instrumental to them hanging around each other more and getting closer, after all. "But I still don't know how you put up with it."

Surely that kind of behavior from him is just That Bad. Obviously.
whenyouneedme: (009)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-23 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
"Hey now, s'cuz I wasn't putting up with anything."

It had never been an ordeal. He'd wanted to do it, so he'd done it. Very simple. The whys of wanting to were maybe a little less simple, but not by too much. He didn't like seeing people on their own. There was a difference between being alone and lonely, and Shinji's had definitely felt like... both. Kai's had been too.

"You were having a rough time. Didn't want you to have to shoulder it all on your own."
hedgehogsdilemma: (Then I kept pretending)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-23 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"That's still more than I would have expected from... anyone."

Especially if he was that pathetic! Who on earth would help out some dumb kid who can't take care of himself? Just because they wanted to? Bizarre. But highly appreciated in the long run.

"I never expected to feel this cared about, either. I really do think that part of you is amazing."
whenyouneedme: toniii (095)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-24 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
This guy, apparently. Even if you were killing him with that.

"Amazing is going a little far," Kai wheezed a bit. Especially when it had really just been him being a fool again. It just hadn't ended up like it usually did, and that was wild.

"I get it though." At least the rest of it. "This... really isn't how it usually goes."
hedgehogsdilemma: (I guess everything is timing)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-24 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a soft war, someone's gotta perish. It's probably gonna be both of them, realistically.

"I'm not taking it back," he says firmly. He meant what he said, he thinks it's amazing! But he can at least give Kai the mercy of not outright repeating it right away.

It not being normal for either of them isn't a huge surprise - if he's used to not being treated so well as a whole, it isn't too shocking to think he's not the only one. That would just be ridiculous, after all, but even then... Kai's never been anything besides patient and kind to him, to think that those particular traits aren't appreciated more widely is pretty sad to think about.

All he can really do about that right now is cherish those traits, he thinks. Hold them carefully for all they're worth.

"It felt really easy with you, though. Getting to know you and caring about you this much."

Not as rocky and painful as he'd have anticipated. Imagine.
whenyouneedme: (023)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-29 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
Shinji was doing a really effective job of making sure Kai was the one who died though. Everything he had been saying was blow after blow. He was amazing for caring? Getting to know him was easy? Caring about him this much? What even were these concepts.

"I'm surprised you haven't been disappointed yet," Kai said with a soft puff. That hadn't entirely been what he'd meant to say, but that was truthful. He gave a little shake of his head, rubbing his cheek on Shinji's hair with the motion.

"But, y'know... s'nice hearing it's been easy enough. I know I don't volunteer much." Answering questions was different!
hedgehogsdilemma: (Just for one thing)

Rubs my hands together like a fly

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-29 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
That gentle ruffle of his hair does a great job of putting an extra little flutter in his chest, even if that was probably not the intention at all. Jeez...! More importantly, though, why would he be disappointed? He never placed any particular expectations on Kai in the first place, so what he has been able to learn, and the fact that he has been able to learn it in the first place, has been a pleasant surprise.

Besides that, he doesn't go out of his way to say much about himself either, and even then, they haven't really had a whole lot of friction between them for it - that's what's really made it easy. "Maybe it's because you never asked for a lot in the first place?" That would make sense. "So, with all this time we've had already, and no real pressure, it's all felt really... natural."

Outside of clear cases of divine intervention, anyway. Still, he can't really say those have all been wholly unpleasant, even when they had been kind of unwelcome in the first place.

He lets out another content sigh, his next thought slipping out quietly on the heels of it, "'S probably why it was so easy to fall in love with you."
whenyouneedme: toniii (094)

yodels

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-29 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
There had been the idle wonder of how much 'this much' could have been. Was it really 'this much' or just a little more than what someone could consider normal? What was even the baseline for something like that? Kai knew his metrics were off to start with, so what did that mean?

He hadn't anticipated that he'd ever know the answer, let alone know it so immediately. He also was not quite sure what he'd heard (he knew exactly what he'd heard) or if that was something that had truly meant to be said (he... wasn't sure on that part).

It was so easy to--

Everything was still for a moment. Kai didn't trust himself to say anything. He didn't trust himself to think anything. Gingerly, he lifted his head so he could look down at the boy nestled against him. There was only more curious wonder there, a question that he wasn't even sure he was aware of.

There was a small squeeze of his hand, that link still firm and sure despite the sudden swirl of everything. Don't go.
hedgehogsdilemma: (Things I've felt but I've never said)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-29 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
What a nice little moment of complete calm they have going here.

Just a moment, though, because there's only so much time between Shinji letting that thought escape and the realization that, hey, you just, uh, you just said the in-your-head thing out loud. Suddenly all of that quietness and stillness comes to a crashing stop on Shinji's end as everything starts to catch up and his heart begins absolutely racing. He hadn't meant to say that, why did he say that?

He brings his free hand up to cover his mouth, as if that's somehow going to take those words back, or stop more from slipping out, or... something. He doesn't know what, but something. It's sure not going to make him less suspicious, at any rate, but he's also not tying to worm his way out of the situation, no matter how many different scenarios on how to do exactly this might be running through his head at the moment.

He's not sure he trusts himself to say anything at the moment either, but he keeps his hold on Kai's hand nice and tight as well. Don't you go anywhere either, please.
whenyouneedme: toniii (083)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-30 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
As much as that small motion didn't provide a lot of clarity, it still did plenty to answer at least one question. Had he meant it to be said? No. Probably not. Had he meant it...? That was about as far as Kai could get before everything fizzled and overloaded.

What would it mean if he hadn't?
... What would it mean if he had?

Kai really didn't know. He didn't know why his chest suddenly felt so full, or why his heart felt in his throat. It seemed like his ears were full of cotton if he dared to look anywhere but at Shinji, who seemed to be the only thing moving in real time here. That was probably why Kai had reached up with his free hand, reaching out towards the only source of clarity in his immediate vicinity.

The motion was a bit clumsy as Kai's fingers skirted over Shinji's hand. He was trying to find his way to Shinji's cheek, to carefully turn his face towards him. Maybe, he thought, it would make more sense if Kai could see him.
hedgehogsdilemma: (Coming out of my cage)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-30 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
That hand reaching over and touching his manages to pull him back out of his thoughts and into the present moment, and it doesn't take much more than a tiny bit of that guidance before Shinji convinces himself to, at the very least, turn a wide-eyed look toward Kai.

"I'm sorry," he offers quickly, his hand only moving away enough to make sure the apology is heard nice and clear despite how tight his throat suddenly feels. "I didn't... mean to say that out loud."

Another very honest statement which, for what it's worth, is a confirmation that it should have stayed right in his head, but isn't a thought that would have been out of place just staying quietly within those confines.
whenyouneedme: toniii (130)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-09-30 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
That earned another confused little furrow of Kai's brow. That was the main flavor in his expression still, just a lot of earnest confusion. Earnest confusion, quiet curiosity, a dash of something almost close to hopeful?

Or maybe that was the flicker of hurt that came with the idea that this was something to warrant an apology. Why did it need an apology. He wasn't in a position to know the reasons behind that regret, which meant the default conclusion was that he was the problem as per usual. That thought made his stomach twist just as much as those initial words had sparked something thunderous in his heart.

When Kai finally spoke up again, it was far more hushed than he anticipated. "...But you meant it?"
hedgehogsdilemma: (But I'm not that bold)

[personal profile] hedgehogsdilemma 2020-09-30 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Ah... there's something in that look that really stabs at his heart. There's really no way he could bring himself to try and talk his way out of this, though he's not sure he'd be able to do that much in the first place. He's never been a particularly deceptive person, after all, and Kai has always deserved his honesty.

He drops his focus back down to their hands, his own still holding on so tightly. "... I mean it," he replies, softly, sincerely. He had meant it then, and he's not going to take it back now. "I do, I really... really do."
whenyouneedme: (042)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2020-10-01 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Of course he did. There were times where Shinji could be elusive, but Kai had never gotten the feeling he'd ever been dishonest when he did come around to saying something. This was sort of the same thing, wasn't it? Something that just needed a little time to warm up to.

But he'd still said he was sorry. The uncertainty that came with that brought along an ache as well.

Kai leaned his head back down, gently thudding the sides of their foreheads together as Shinji looked down at their hands. Have another stroke of his thumb then, slow and careful and there.

"Was it going to stay a secret?"

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